Man Arrested For Raping Men Who Broke Into Halfway House For EX-Cons

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“It was Ass milk Monday’s”

49 year old Willie Mack Arnold was arrested and charged with Man Rape, after he raped three Upstate South Carolina men on by one after breaking into a halfway house used to get recently released convicts back into society.  Willie said he was watching the security cameras when he saw the three men climbing the fence in the back of the property.

“In or out…..Prison rules are still in effect”

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Could be heard coming from a back room, the three men who ranged from ages 22 to 37 were taken to the hospital where they were treated for third degree rug burn and 4in anus tears.  No charges were filed, police chief Jerry Mcknight said I think these guys learned their lesson.

Rapper Gucci Mane Calls off Engagement After Seeing Fiance Keyshia Ka’oir Without Make-Up For The First Time

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“I love Keyshia but she looked like my uncle Tracy Mack” 

Said rapper Gucci Mane after seeing fiance Keyshia’s Ka’oir for the first time without make-up on.  Gucci went on to say that she looked like his uncle Tracy Mack, he ain’t a ugly guy but he is a dude if you know what I mean.  As we all know most women love make up but seeing her without make-up was enough for Gucci Mane to call off the recent Engagement.

“I Feel Bamboozled…she was either working out with make-up on or wearing that damn breathing mask”Image result for Keyshia Ka’oir working out

I’m sorry but Guwop gotta think about the future and my kids, people say i’m cloned but I be damn if my wife gonna turn into a nigga as soon as she say fu*k MAC.  Guwop ain’t no fool!

 

Cam Newton Suspended After Coaching Staff Sees Him Tuck His D*ck While Getting Dressed Before The Game

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“Enough is Enough… Next he will be washing with Summers Eve”

Rivera told reporters that Newton violated the team’s travel dress code, but he wouldn’t expound further on what Newton specifically did.  It was a assistant coach that told us that Newton didn’t start in last nights game because he was seen tucking his weenier in-between his butt cheeks!

“That’s why he can’t run no more”Image result for cam newton in locker room

Ron Sullivan went on to say he saw it with his own eyes, it was gross, I had to text wife and tell her I was going to the strip club to erase the images out my head.  No grown ass man should be doing nothing like that.

Man Says Fu*k Christmas I Rather Raise My Pits Than Deal With My Kids And Baby Momma

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“I tell them sit and they sit.. Them Kids ain’t worth a shit tho”

37 year old Mont Williams said he can’t deal with his baby momma and his 3 kids anymore.  Christmas isn’t going to have me broke this year.  The dogs love me, I’m not even sure if those are my kids so until the test come back it’s me and my dogs.

“It’s all fun and games until you pick your kids up and they got roaches in they book bag”Image result for black man with kids

Mont Williams said he plans on putting his baby momma on child support after finding flying roaches in his kids book bags.

 

Man Uses Baby Oil To Kill Brothers Girlfriend Because They Couldn’t Chase Hoes Together Anymore

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“I just wanted my wing man back”

Said 29 year old Marvin Winston after turning himself in for the murder of Venessa Lump, Winston was on the run for more than three weeks until finally turning himself in because he couldn’t pick up any women alone.  Winston said everything was great until Venessa came into his brothers life, we were like bat man a robin, MJ and Pippen until she showed up.

“That hoe ruined my cuffing season.. she had to die”Image result for man kills brothers girlfriend

On the night of November 2nd cameras saw Winston putting baby oil on the steps outside Lump’s apartment steps where she slipped and fell to the bottom breaking her neck, when asked how he felt about the situation he said…… She won’t be breaking up the bro’s no more.

OJ Simpson To Release Holiday Book From Prison Titled “Carvin’ Up That White Meat”

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“Becky….The other white meat”

OJ Simpson Released a Holiday Book from Lovelock Correctional Center titled “Carving up That White Meat”, Simpson who is mostly known for Killing his supposdly killing his EX-Girlfriend and her boyfriend but was found not guilty.  While serving a 33 year prison sentence for kidnapping that happened back in 2008 Simpson started working on a novel that in his own words he described as a killer.

“Make sure the gloves fit and keep a sharp knife”Image result for OJ simpson book

You will have a more new friends than ever after reading this book, it will show you a step by step “How to carve that white meat” and clean up your mess with out leave anything behind.

Ellen Says They Wouldn’t Let Me In The White House Because I Smelled Like Weed

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“They haven’t let me in to the White House yet because I look high”

TV star Ellen Degeneres was invited to The White House with several other Hollywood stars to receive a very special award from President Obama, when she forgot everything besides remembering how to breath.  Snoop had given Ellen some of his new candy “Dog Treats” at the hotel hours before arriving to The White House.

“I was stuck….. I know they are going to meme me”‘Image result for snoop and ellen

After White House security allowed DeGeneres to enter the building but not before White House K-9 alerted to the “Dog Treats” snoop gave her that afternoon, lucky for Ellen the dogs ate them before Secret Service could get them.

George Zimmerman Starts Go-Fundme For Louisiana Man After Shooting NFL Player Joe McKnight

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“Did they let you keep your gun”

George Zimmerman reached out to Ronald Gasser the man who shot and killed NFL Player Joe Mcknight late Saturday night expressing his feelings on the situation.  Zimmerman told Gasser that he is going to start a Go-Fundme page for the killer because he knows how it is when you shoot a black man.

“They let me go too” 

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Said Zimmerman, he thinks the Go-Fundme page will help Ronald Gasser with his legal fees and money to live off of because he will be unable to work or be seen in the community.

Mall Santa Fired After Telling Mom “The Ain’t no Ni**as In North Pole”

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“Ain’t no ni**as in the North Pole”

67 year old Sam Jennings was fired from The Lenox Mall, within thirty-minutes of sitting as mall Santa, after telling a parent “ain’t no ni**as in the north pole, within seconds after a fight broke out between the two.  Rasheena Little was taken to the hospital after suffering a concussion from a right jab from Jennings

“I was telling the truth.. no ni**as live in the North Pole”Image result for santa

Could be heard as Sam Jennings was escorted out the Mall by security where he was later fired and arrested, Jennings plans on pressing charges on Little.

 

Kodak Black Out On Bond After Telling Judge Sex Is Not Supposed To Stink

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You Can’t Let Me Eat The Pu**y Then Say You Got Raped”

Rapper Kodak Black was released on 100,000 dollar bond after telling a South Carolina Judge that he was an innocent man that wasn’t about to get played by a thirsty thot. Kodak went on to tell the judge that she had an slight odor and got mad when he told her to get out because she smelled like the playoffs.

“It took three days to get the smell out my golds”Image result for Kodak Black in court

Kodak took to twitter after being released saying that he was just happy to be out of jail because they were trying to use his head as a toilet bowl cleaner.

 

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