Diddy kicks Lil Kim off Bad Boy reunion tour after forgetting to dye her arms white before show

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“Yo, I can’t have this sh*t on my tour, either you gonna be a ugly white woman or a ugly black woman”

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Said P.Diddy after their last show in NYC,  People in the Bad Boy camp say Diddy became angered after he walked right past Lil Kim during a rehearsal mistaking her for an elderly white woman.  Lil Kim has been making drastic changes to her appearance for the last 10 years and none of these changes have been for the better.  X1FCVFkDBBM=

“This isn’t just a concert – this is a moment in hip-hop and R&B history and ill be damn if Kim messes up my tour with her white power bull sh*t.” -Diddy

Many of the artist that are apart of the tour have taken Lil Kim’s side by saying that Diddy hasn’t been paying them since they got together and that having unlimited Ciroc Apple just isn’t enough.  Lil Kim has expected to have spent her entire Bad Boy money from the early 2000’s on bad investments including her face .

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“We want people to get excited like the circus is coming to town, not have showing up to see Lil Kim running around looking like a damn clown.” – Diddy

Things you think crew tried to catch up with Mr. Combs earlier this week but were unable to reach him due to the fact that he just underwent rotator cuff surgery on his shoulder.  He still plans on performing during the rest of the tour and  we wish him a speedy recovery and to get well soon.

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James Harden Goes Crazy After LiL B Put Curse On His Feet

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“I use to enjoy the game of basketball and playing defense but that was ruined because of Kevin Durrant stupid ass and the Based Curse

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Said NBA Super star James Harden as he sat side line to cheer on his best friend Kevin Durrant,  Harden went on to tell us about the day Kevin Durrant disrespected rapper LIL B. The rapper went on to tell KD that the only thing he was gonna win is a L and then told him that he would have a gift from the BASED GOD when he woke up.  Lil B fan base is somewhat larger than both NBA super stars and his fan believe in him and the BASED WORLD.

As we all know James Harden has been recently called out for his lack of playing defense but after coming forward with this statement we can now blame LIL B and his Based God Cursefor Hardens lack of effort on the defensive end.  Hardens shoe deal with Adidas was about to be on the chopping block but thanks to his honesty CEO of the company plans to keep James Harden around for a while.

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“I would like to think if our shoe can hold up to those Based God Cursed feet they can hold up to anything” – Adidas

Young Thug Arrested After Customer Sees Him Drying His Di*k With A Hand Dryer

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“No one needs to walk in on that ..His Pants were folded on the counter.. Balls out and all”

Early Friday cops were called to Lennox Mall were a woman reported that a 6ft 4in black man was drying his Di*k with the hand dryer in the women’s restroom. We later would find out, that man in the restroom was no man at all… It was rapper young thug.

“How can someone so skinny be so strong”Image result for young thug with cop

After speaking with the arresting officer we later found that no charges were being filed against Young Thug but the cop did insist that during the scuffle Thugger tried to put his finger in his booty hole… He might have got me once.

Georgia Man Sets House On Fired After Girlfriend Refuses To Fix His Plate Before Kids

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“fu*k them kids…I bought the got damn food”

25 year old Mathew Rusk of 23 Manor Way was arrested and charged with arson after setting his girlfriends house on fire after she refused to fix his Thanksgiving plate before her kids.  He dumped all the food on the floor right in front of the kids, they haven’t had a Thanksgiving since their dad went to prison.

“Her daughter learned a lesson today… He who pays eats first”

Mathew Rusk  is an evil man said Chief William Langford, who in their right mind sprays baby oil on the step so the kids would fall down the steps, luckily we were able to put out the fire before it spread to the entire house.

 

Young M.A. Run Off Stage Stopping Concert After Strap-On Rolls Out Pants Leg

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“I though it was another microphone at first”

She was like pull out your mother Fu*king phones, then a crazy look came over her face. like she felt a ghost tickle her butt hole.  I personally thought it was a back up microphone until i saw  the tip of it hanging out the bottom of her pant leg, by far the funniest shit i have ever seen in my life said 25 year-old Richard Memes.

“I guess being a stud is harder than it looks”Image result for young ma on stage

Young M.A. left the stage and never returned to perform the rest of her songs, the crowd was angry but seemed to have gotten the laugh of a life time.

 

Mother Dies In Police Custody After Cooking Sons Yorkie To Complete You Name It Challenge

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“I think it was the dog that did it…. You know, made her feet swell”

39 year old Ciara Macy went into diabetic coma after her 9 year-old son called the cops for cooking the families tea cup Yorkie, EMS was called to the residence where they found Ciara on the floor with a plate with enough food to feed a homeless shelter.  Her son said he believed she loved that song more than him, she was singing it while she cooked that morning.

“OMG….It’s a song not real life”Image result for little boy talking to police

People have to realize that this internet stuff is not real life, she actually took it into her own hands to kill the kids dog said detective Avery Mills,  we hope people will learn from this incident not to try everything you see online.

Michael Jordan Says He Always Brought His Own Cup When He Visited Magic Johnson House

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“I wasn’t trying to catch a cold… if you know what I mean”

Michael Jordan is a long time friend of Magic Johnson but when it came down to visiting the Magic Man Mike always came prepared.  In a interview from 2001 Michael went on to say that he was extra careful when he visited Magic, he always made sure to bring his own cup to drink out of and never used the bathroom because he just didn’t want to catch a cold he couldn’t get rid of.

“Listen Magic’s son was wearing his mom’s shoes back then”Image result for mj at magic johnsons house

Ever time i visited Magic his son would be in the house dancing to Orange Juice Jones wearing his mothers high heels, I would never bring my kids with me to play because I didn’t want that to rub off on my sons.

 

Snoop Says There Are Levels Once You Reach The Top And Kanye Wasn’t Ready

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“There are levels once you reach the top… He just wasn’t ready”

Said Rapper Snoop Dog after being asked what he thought about Kanye going crazy this past week, some people just have to find out the hard way,  look at Enimen he disapeared for 2 years after meeting him.  Kanye knows so much that the world doesn’t know that it’s driving him crazy,  being friends with Jay-Z is like smoking crack for ten days strait.

“Kanye found out that once you’re in there’s no getting out”Image result for kanye with tupac

This nigga is crazier than the shit i smoke, “I smoke tons weed but weed don’t make you do that, now meeting Tupac will do that to you.

See How The Kardashian Women Ruined Their Men One By One

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“It’s all fun and games until your sitting in a room watching a man tuck his di*k”

Said Lamar Odom after telling a TMZ reporter how the Kardashian women have ruined every man they run across.  Well the winner of the 2016 women that make men go crazy goes to The Kardashian Women, Lamar had to die just to forget some the pain Khole put him through, Scott was smoking crack with Lamar, Kanye was watching Caitlen tuck her di*k, Oh lets not forget OJ Simpson AKA Lets go stab a white bitc*h to death.

“Kanye will always remember that Ray J Fu*ked his wife… And that Basketball Dude oh and The Football guy ” Image result for kardashian womens men

Never the less there is one thing to say and thats make sure you stay clear of the Kardashian’s

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