Mariah Carey’s Billionaire EX Says, I Can Smile Knowing I Ruined Her Throat

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“How do you think she got that big ass ring… It’s not because she can cook”

Said Mariah’s Billionaire EX Fiance after seeing her tragic New Years Eve singing horror show.  Maria took to the stages looking stunning as usual but something was different this time, she sound like a dying cat.  People looked on as the singer took the last L of 2016.  Even MMA star Ronda Rousy could smile knowing that she wasn’t the last one to fall victim to 2016.

It was a rare meltdown on national television by one of the top-selling recording artists of all time. Ms. Carey, maybe this was her sign to sit her ass down and to just smile and look pretty.

California Wakes Up To “HollyWeed” Hollywood Got A Face Lift For 2017

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“Light that shit, smoke that shit, pass that shit”

What a great way to start off 2017, over night the Hollywood sign was altered with the words HOLLY WEED, that’s right WEED.  California has been known for it’s love of the green stuff and their residents wanted to make sure that the world knows.  This just might be what the United States Needs in 2017, it could have been Holly Crack… Live videos have been seen popping up on face book all morning, go take a look for your self.

“I love weed and it loves me back”

Image result for man smiling smoking weed

 

Let’s Take A Look Back At The Biggest L’s Taken in 2016

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“Not everyone had a great year in 2016… Lets take a look back”

Lamar Odom Image result for lamar odom diedNot only did he die for a few months he came back to still have a Kardashian as a wife… I wonder if heaven had basketball courts

Harambe “The Gorilla”Image result for HarambeBeing a black gorilla is tough, so tough that you get shot saving a kid that fell into your back yard.  I wonder if heaven has bananna’s

Disney Gator AttackImage result for disney gator attackWell people what did we learn in 2016? Keep your kid out the damn water.  Not only did a little boy get killed by a gator, the parents tried to blame Disney.  I wonder does heaven have roller coasters

Kanye West and Bruce JennerNot only did the go crazy, the both have to keep dealing with Kim K and the rest of the Kardashian sisters, that’s enough you make you want to cut off your man hood.  I wonder does heaven have a Voice Mail

US Swimmer Caught Lying Image result for bad things that happened in 2016Too bad they couldn’t lie as good as they swim,  Several members of the US Olympic swim team were caught telling a hot one, when they said the were robbed at gun point at a Rio gas station.  I wonder does heaven have a pool

 Rapper TI Related imageRight as the new year ended rapper TI’s wife Tiny filed for a divorce, many people think it’s be cause she loves Floyd Mayweather and that TI keeps coming home smelling like Pu**y.  I wonder does heaven have a studio

Meek Millz Image result for meek mill drake nicki minaj

Not a great year for Meek, not only did Drake destroy him with not one but two diss tracks, he got dumped by his big butt girl friend Nikki.  I wonder does heaven have dirt bikes

Rick Ross Related image

How do you get arrested for holding someone hostage in your own house only to have to put your house up to get out of jail?  Well Rick Ross managed to do all of that, the boss himself spent a fews weeks in a Atlanat jail after kidnapping his landscaper.  I wonder does heaven have a wing stop

Derick Rose Image result for Derrick rose court

He was accused of gang raping a woman but after he told the judge her Pu**y smelled like wet news paper all the charges were dropped. I wonder does heaven have new knees

Dj KhaledImage result for dj khaled white house

He get the L just because he talks too much, so much that he was kicked out the white house for asking to see the kitchen.  I wonder is heaven the best

Hillary Clinton Image result for hillary clinton

No only did she let america down, she got beat by Donald Trump and did it wearing a pants suit, that over 10 years of taking L’s.  I wonder does heaven have a taylor

Mariah CareyImage result for mariah carey new yearsShe may look sexy as hell but she has the decision making skills of a squirrel, not only did she get dumped by a billionaire she asked him for 50 million for the break up, she has lost her damn mind, she also managed to end 2016 with the worst performance of her career.  I wonder does heaven have waist trainers

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Image may contain: one or more peopleWell folks to wrap up the biggest L’s taken in 2016, we have the United States.  Donald Trump was able to create a racial divide and came away being the president of the united states.  Hope you all are happy, lets just see what the 2017 has in store for the united states.  I wonder does heaven have a ghetto

 

Kanye Says He’s Taking A Year Off Music To Become A Professional Body Builder

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“It’s A New Yeee”

Kanye West was seen going into a California gym where he has made up his mind to become a professional body builder.  Come into a NEW YEEE, what’s in the past is in the past, weight lifting has always been a passion now it’s time to bring it to the light.

“Like Hov said make another Hov”Related image

Be happy, that’s all Yee can do for 2017, no music, no concerts, just me and the gym.  It’s going to be hard but my family has my back and nothing can stop me!

50 Cent Says Mayweather Wants To Know How Does T.I. Smash That

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“I was a fan of TI before I saw that ass, cant trust his decision making skills”

Floyd has spent countless hours trying to figure out how TI even puts himself to have sex with such an ass.  There are so many things wrong with this picture, that rap money must need a co-signer at the bank because there is no what in hell Money would jab that.  TI may take an L with the divorce but at least he can have sex with the lights on now.

“We bet $38,000 that her ass is made of big words”Related image

Floyd says he can’t worry about another man’s woman, when it’ nicer asses working at Starbucks.

T.I Takes The Biggest L Of 2016 After Finding Note From Floyd Mayweather To Wife Tiny

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“Floyd might can’t spell but he sure can take a Ni**as Wife”

T.I was seen speeding away from his Atlanta home after what seem to be a note from his arch nemesis Floyd Money Mayweather.  The note was found when the rapper was cleaning out Tiny’s car, even the wordsmith TI could not decipher what was written on the sticky note.

“Tiny I Luv U, Mony kan by Happiness if U hav tee time”

T.I reached out to 50 cent asking him if he thought the note came from Floyd, 50 responded with “He Fam… Money’s got yo wife mane”

 

Jr. Smith Refuses To Play Until He Finds Who Threw Away His Lucky Henny Bottle

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“It’s empty but it’s good luck, I took Three shots when we were down Three”

JR. Smith was more than upset during last nights game, saying it’s not about the money I want my Henny.  It took King James to calm down Smith saying it would be fine and that he would make sure he would have his Henny back by the end of the week.

“He still smelled like a Party”Image result for jr smith henny

Cavs ownership apologized to Smith after the game with a check for 20k for throwing out his lucky Henny bottle.  Smith said he plans on using the 20k to buy a few bottles of the sauce and use the rest to buy kids clothes.

Church Members Walk Out After Pastor Says His Husband Is 2 Months Pregnant

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“We made it happen sir”

Members of Atlanta’s Little Rock Missionary Church Of God walked out of service last night when their pastor Mr. Willam Terry Longstroke II brought it to their attention that his husband of one month Mrs. Donte Terry was 2 months pregnant with what he claim to be a blessing.  Long time member Fred Johnson had to be rushed to the hospital after hearing the news, the last words you could hear being said where, he was just at the urinal.

“Ms. Terry will not be stopped by the Devil’s haters”Image result for gay black preachers

Pastor William Terry said he will not let his church member nor the devil stop his blessing from coming true and that him and Mrs.Terry will not tolerate any haters in the church.  Over 98 members left the church and said they were no coming back until Mrs.Terry took a shit… because he definitely isn’t  having a baby.

Drake Says He’s Not A Little Bit Worried About Diddy’s Feelings

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“send him a bottle of ciroc for me “

Drake said he noticed a big change on his instagram feed this morning after posting pictures of him with new girl friend J.Lo.  Diddy unfollowed the OVO King after he went to IG posting pics of him and his new love J.LO.  In my heart I know the truth, Diddy must know now my heart speaks in Spanish

“I guess this means no more drinking ciroc”Related image

Drake is ready to face anyone for his hot spanish fly, he has hired extra security for Diddy because he doesn’t want to end up like Tupac

 

Man Sues Landlord After Being Evicted For Using Gift Cards To Pay Rent

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“Money is money.. Can I at least get the cards back”

Avery Jerry has filed an lawsuit against his apartment complex after he was evicted for paying the last Three Hundred dollars of his rent with gift cards.  With no notice Avery came home from work to see all of his things sitting at the street along with his pit bull named Tyson.

“It’s not fair….It was on time tho”Image result for white man walking pit bull

Avery’s lawyer says they must give his a notice before evicting him, he is now living a storage unit he can save enough money to get another apartment.

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