Drake Says Love Isn’t Scared To Cry In Public, Proposes To J.Lo After Dating For 3 Weeks


“Love is what took me to the other side of the pillow”

Rapper Drake has proposed to Jennifer Lopez only after dating for three week, the rapper took to his instagram late last night posting a picture of the two cuddle up at a OVO Christmas dinner.  Friends of Drake say around 11:30pm Drake stopped the music and dropped down to a knee asking J.Lo would she be his wife.

“She said No”Image result for drake and jennifer lopez

Drake could be seen crying and pacing in the parking lot before J.Lo came to his side, Diddy also texted Drake telling him, that woman will ruin your life boy… Be happy she said no.

New York Lotto Winner Decorates Christmas Tree With $3,000 Dollars Worth Of Timberlands


“Timb’s on the tree and Henny in my stockings”

Ervin Willis said since God blessed him with the sauce he had to bring his Harlem swag back to christmas.  Willis spent over three thousand dollar on timberland’s just to decorate his tree.  Evrin could been seen walking passing out 6in wheat timbs to kids and bottles of Henny to the OG’s in the neighborhood.

“2-34-2-4-11 and 34, those numbers gave me the sauce”Image result for kids getting timberlands

Willis says when you get a gift so close to your heart, it must be shared with the world.  Timberland on those kids feet made me smile like fat Oprah, I hope they remember that day forever.

Tiny Harris Tells Divorce Judge She’s Tired Of T.I Coming Home Smelling Like Musty Pu**y


“Sex isn’t supposed to stank”

Tiny Harris has filed for divorce from TI one day after christmas, Tiny has complained that he would come home at all hours of the night smelling like strippers and Henny.  Mayweather wrote a 4 page letter to the couple wishing them the best, but they were unable to read it because of the misspelled words being written in magic marker didn’t help.

“He’d come home saying he saved a homeless person”

TI was seen being dropped off at Hartsville International airport late monday night on his way Las Vegas to meet up with Mayweather and the money team to help save his marriage.

Versace Employee Says “Sickle Cell” Is The Code-Word For Black Shoppers


” Sickle Cell.. Keep you eyes open”

Ex Versace Employee said he was fired before he ever got to use his employee discount after he spoke up in a morning meeting.  In this morning meeting the manager was going over store conduct and what to watch out for during the holiday season, code word Rough Head.  That’s this weeks word for black shoppers, Willie Mayes spoke up telling the manger you do know i’m black and the manager replied

“That’s why you Sickle Cell head in your ear piece when you go on break”Image result for versace employee

Mayes was fired one day before Christmas for what the manager called not following company policy, Mayes and his lawyer plan on filing a lawsuit against the company.

Michael Jordan Tells Fan Stop Buying Fakes J’s Before Your Feet Turn Green


“Name one time you seen me wearing velvet J’s”

Michael Jordan and son Jeffrey Jordan could be seen laughing while sitting court side at the Hornets game over the weekend, when Jordan stopped a random man and began to point at his shoes, bystander said they could hear MJ saying those are not my shoes, you better get your money back before your feet turn green.

“Take them off now and i’ll give these off my feet”Image result for jordan at hornets game

Jordan convinced the man that no only his shoes were faker than Kim K ass but he talked the man into throwing his fake J’s away in front of thousands of NBA fans.  Jordan and the fan could be seen smiling at half time when he handed him a real pair of J’s.

Cops Denied Service At Cheesecake Factory, We Don’t Want Our Black Customers Shot


“You can either leave your guns in the car or go eat doughnuts”

Said a Manager at an Atlanta based Cheese Cake Factory, when four officers in uniform came in to eat lunch.  The manager asked them if they could remove their weapons because it’s a fire arm free zone and their mostly African American customer base would feel more comfortable knowing they didn’t have a gun to “accidentally” shoot some one.

“Every time your kind gets around a lot of black people someone gets shot”

The cops have already filed a complaint, saying they felt like they were treated wrong only to be answered back with a email saying….. If you don’t like our rules go eat at Krispy Cream”

Judge Laughs At Murderer After He Screamed Out, I Don’t Wanna Get Raped


“I don’t wanna be no body’s bitch.. i’m gone die”

As he was led out handcuffed he sobbed and doubled over, then put his hand over his heart and cried more as he signed court documents, He could be heard mumbling my ass gone be on fire.

Wendy Williams: Im So Thankful I Don’t Have To Change Transmissions Anymore


“I was changing transmissions at 13 year old”

Said Wendy Willams after showing a Throw Back Thursday picture of her self when when was 13, that picture of her was after helping her uncle change a transmissions.  Now that she has became a talk show star she wants women to be happy with who they are, even if they can smoke newports and tell you why your car has that ticking noise.

“My hands were rough so that was great when we played football”Image result for wendy williams as a child

Williams was also a stand out start on her school high school football team, where she set the record for the most sacks in school history with 34 in a single season.

Gucci Mane Booed After Stopping Show To Say, Y’all Don’t Deserve Me GOD Is Too Real


“They said i was a clone but that was God.. They say i’m not the same and a nigga a fraud”

Said Gucci in a packed out show before fan started to boo and throw bottles at him on stage.  2016 has been a hard-ass year. God knew we needed some sunshine to round off the bullshit we’ve had to endure so they sent us a new Guwop.

“I’ll retire before I let these clowns take me down”Related image

Gucci has had a better 2016 than most and it’d be proper for us to be gifting him for all that he’s shared with us but instead, angry fans want the old drugged out, trap god, mid selling rapper.

Miami Man Arrested After Son Mistakenly Eats Cocaine Stash Disguised As Doughnuts


“I didn;t know the boy was gonna eat cocaine”

Perry Leam was arrested tuesday night after he rushed his 5 year old son to the hospital for an apparent cocaine overdose.  Perry told hospital officials that his son found his cocaine stash in the freezer an doughnuts.  Police were called and Perry was charged with child abuse, they were unable to charge him with having the drugs because his son ate the 9 ounces of cocaine.

“He’s lucky to be alive, I mean the Dad.. he was selling mostly baking soda”Image result for cop talking

Perry son is in stable condition after doctors realized that perry’s cocaine was mostly baking soda.  Officials say they feel bad for the boy not because he almost died but because his dads prob gonna get killed for selling fake drugs.

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