Ohio Teen Raped After Attempting To Carjack Van Full Of EX Cons

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“It was like booty on a platter”

Cleveland police say 18-year-old serial carjacker was arrested after attempting to carjack a van of EX cons.  Damari Wayne was charged with robbery after he called Police saying he had been rapped by the van full of men.  He had committed three armed carjackings between Feb. 11 and Feb. 21 but got his ass handled on this last attempt.

Image result for laughing cop

“stealing in jail is an automatic soap drop… same rules apply on the streets”

The teen got in the driver’s seat but was unable to operate the vehicle. That’s when police say that was when he attacked by two of the vans occupants and taken on a side street where they were ganged by for more passengers.

Madden Update Says EX Patriot Aaron Hernandez Suffers Career Ending Neck Injury

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“Gets a life sentence and finishes in three years… Now that’s a MVP move”

said EA Sports John Madden after the games makers updated the system adding Aaron Hernandez to the NFL Career ending injury list late last night.  Many of the games players were shocked when they did the new update.  A few took to twitter with expressing their feelings some saying “No way… Too soon”

“He should have went left instead he went right”Image result for john madden aaron hernandez

Many Hernandez fans are shocked that he took his life and are upset that they will never see the 27 year old put on a Pats uniform again.  You win some and you lose some but you live……. To fight another day.

 

Cops Say Mcdonalds Worker & Cold Fries Helped Them Catch Facbook Killer

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“I knew it was him when he pulled to the window, so i did the usual, Cold fries and one pack of ketchup”

Said William Walter a long time employee of McDonalds, Williams told officers that he already likes making customers life hard by messing up their orders and telling them the shake machine is down.  

I’d rather be dead than eat these cold ass fries”

Stephens went through the drive-thru at the McDonald’s on Buffalo Road in Erie, PA when one of the Williams recognized him. He ordered a 20-piece McNugget and a large fry, little did he know his fries were going to be colder than a side chick heart on valentines day.

Father Mauled To Death By Tigers After Trying To Sneak In Chinese Zoo

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When being cheap get you killed by Tigers

The victim, named only as Zhang, had tried to dodge paying for a £15 ticket by hopping over the park fence directly into the tiger pit yesterday, Chinese media reports. Accompanied by a pal, he scaled the three metre wall only to be mauled to death by the tigers.The pair were pictured on top of the barrier just moments before the bloody attack.Grieving relatives of a dad-of-two have now blasted the lax security at the Chinese zoo that allowed him climb into the enclosure with the tigers.

The second man, who was about to follow Zhang into the enclosure, held back after watching the horror unfold before him. Zhang’s wife and two children had gone through the front entrance to the Zoo in Zhejiang province, China, to buy a ticket.

He should have paid the 10 dollars

Horrific footage showed Zhang being mauled on the head and neck by the tiger as onlookers scream, Zhang, aged in his 40s, died in hospital soon after.

 

Porn Star With $1 Million Insured Dick Admits to His “Dick Being Trash”

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Have you ever thought that your sex game was so good that you could possibly kick in the door to the porn industry? Are you ready to have a cool million dollar insurance policy on your meat?

Lee previously made headlines back in 2012 when he reportedly took out a $1 million insurance policy on his junk with Lloyd’s of London, which is the same company that has policies on Bruce Springsteen’s vocal chords and David Beckham’s legs. With that much invested in his member, you’d think his bedroom game was on point, but with a career that finds him getting busy with thousands of women in his lifetime, he admits that he’s not always able to put in a marathon performance for his wife, Kate, who used to be a porn actress, too.Related image

“At home with my wife I have to apologize, I am pathetic in bed,” Lee says. “I’m like a two-minute wonder.” #Sad, especially when you realize he has been able to last for 58 minutes during a scene with four women. “I usually go from start to finish without a break, which is unusual for porn actors. But I was disappointed when I only got 58 minutes – I was working with four girls and aiming for a full hour.”

Mariah Carey Doesn’t Sound The Same In New Song “I Don’t”

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“‘Cause when you love someone, you just don’t treat them bad, you messed up all we had. Probably think I’m coming back, but I don’t, I don’t.”

“I Don’t”…. Sound the same, He ruined my throat

Talking about her split with James on the episode, Mariah said, “Ever since the tour wrapped I took some time just to process my feelings and I started writing a song to express what I’ve been going through. And if you’re not getting the love that you need from someone that you’re supposed to be in a real relationship with, then why remain in that situation?”

Her EX says everything is not how she say’s it is, temper tantrums no sex and she won’t let her personal chef cook for me.

Hide Your Man, These Latin Women Are Not Playing

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Ok, 2017 has just started and for some of these sexy Latin women it’s just another day in the neighborhood, not just any neighborhood, your man’s neighborhood.  These women have been seen every where from Mexican News stations to Planet Fitness, that’s right you should be scared because they just might be out to take your man this year.

“They are saying hello, hola, what’s good and everything else”

Hell they are just being friendly people, to add to this deadly man taking mix they have the booty’s to back it up, be careful how you talk to your man this 2017 because he might be sending messages using google translator. Image may contain: 5 people, people smiling, people standingImage may contain: 1 person, outdoor and closeup

 

Meek Mill: I Left Nikki Because Her A** Was Too Expensive To Maintain

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“It was like a Benz… Don’t keep it maintained & you got serious problems”

Meek took to twitter this past weekend trying to get his fans back on his side after being dumped by super star girlfriend Nicki Minaj.  Meek says it would be nights he would want to go out be she couldn’t because it was too cold or too hot,  a normal ass could handle the elements but when your ass is made of old lugz there’s only so much you can do.

“Focusing on my work and my ass”Image result for Meek and Nikki Ass

Were the last words Meek heard from Nikki, Minaj expressed concern that he was spending too much time with his friends and not giving her enough attention. He responded by leaving the island. She responded by dumping him.

Chris Brown Walks Out Meeting After Mayweather Pulled Out A Pic Of Rihanna

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“Have you ever fought a crack head… They don’t fall”

Said Floyd Money Mayweather when he was asked about the up coming fight between Soulja Boy and Chris Brown.  Chris has been known to sniff up a snow storm if you know what i mean, Champ is requiring Brown to take weekly drug test while training.  50 Cent countered the request saying.

“Soulja Boy can’t put out no trash music.. Meaning he can’t do music at all”Image result for mayweather 50 chris brown soulja boy

50 says he will make sure Chris is clean and drug free just so he can see the look on Soulja Boy’s face when he get his ass beat by a yellow nigga.

White Black Panther Arrested After Telling Black Cop Stay Woke My Ni**a

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“You out here following the white man agenda… free yo self my brotha”

Melvin Sims said it was all he could do besides shooting this confused white woman after she was pulled over for a traffic violation.  It wasn’t until Sims smelled a strong scent of Weed, Black Soap and Coconut oil did he become suspicious of Mandy Longringer’s actions.

“I ain’t did nothing, I’m a strong sista in the fight”Image result for white women in back of cop car

Sim’s stated in his police report that she tried her best to get of the ticket, singing old negro church songs, rapping Tupac’s that’s just the way it is and even offering me churches chicken.  The chicken almost set her free until she said “I PAY TAXES”… that was a tell tell sign that she wasn’t down for the brown.

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